Explaining Gravitation: Ayako on Crack
by story in reverse
Summary: A fan tries to explain Gravitation to a nonanime loving friend. What happens when Ayako writes when she's sleepy... This is actually half fictional you guys. It's in first person, but it's not me.


  
Notes: Er, I was bored and doing a 'story' for my high school English class? I was thinking of how I was always thinking of gravy when people shortened Gravitation to Gravi. This is kind of based off of what I read a few years ago about Jeffrey "One Shot" Wong's story about telling his friend about Ranma 1/2.  
  
Warning: This may not make sense. And it is a Gravitation fic that doesn't have the characters in it. If the grammar was funky, the reason is because I was trying to keep them genderless so you can make your own assumptions. And some words don't exist, and it's done on purpose. This is not my real writing style… really! ^^ Stupidity all around…  
  
…I haven't actually seen episodes one and two, but hey, this can't be TOO inaccurate can it? X_X  
  
  
Explaining Gravitation  
-An Ayako Production-  
  
"So what did you want me to see?"  
  
Ah, that poor poor simpleton. I just had to cram it into their skull.  
  
"Well, I was planning on showing you Gravitation."  
  
The person looked at me with confusion, "I don't need a science lesson. I thought you wanted me to watch some anime."  
  
"Ugh, Gravitation is an anime."  
  
"...Oh."  
  
I rummaged through my CDs until I heard them speaking again. "So, what's it about?"  
  
I pursed my lips and scratched at my head with one hand while looking through the mess with my other. "Hmm… How could I put this gently…"  
  
"Gently? I can handle it."  
  
I smile, finding the CDs, "I'm not saying you can't. You'll be able to handle it for a few seconds I guess. It's more of a matter of you running away screaming."  
  
This earned a puzzled look that easily meant 'nani?' or in English terms, 'what?'  
  
"Well…" I drawled out as I was turning on my computer and tapping at my desk in impatience.  
  
"Yes? Continue…"  
  
I sighed, clicking at the 'The Playa' shortcut icon on my plain desktop. "Two guys," I answered, pressing at the button on the computer to place the CD on.  
  
"And…?" My friend motioned, wanting to go to the mall or some other place that didn't involve mostly sitting down and watching a screen all day.  
  
"Be patient. Just watch it. The less you whine, the more I can concentrate."  
  
This earned a raised eyebrow. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but it isn't difficult to open one file, is it?"  
  
"Hey, talent takes time!"  
  
All I received in response was a sigh.  
  
"Now hush, it's starting," I said, grabbing at my cotton candy (a substitute for popcorn).  
  
[…Okay, let's pretend around half an hour passed.]  
  
"So, what did you think?" I asked, proud of myself that I hadn't been pointing madly at the screen.  
  
My friend was silent.  
  
"What? Are you so amazed that you're speechless?"  
  
I didn't exactly expect them to turn and glare at me.  
  
"You realize you're messed up, right?"  
  
I cock my head in confusion at this supposedly rhetorical question. "Eh?"  
  
"It's been like, what? 20 minutes into this not counting the opening theme and the ending, and they already kiss?" They spat, growling.  
  
Hey, at least they aren't homophobic… That was a plus. "Okay, so it's strange, but time has passed."  
  
"I don't get why you like this."  
  
"You aren't supposed to," I remark. After all, I'm more specialer!  
  
"So… How many episodes left?"  
  
"It's only the first one and you're already anxious to leave?"  
  
"Yeah, I heard they had a new pair of sneakers out on sale."  
  
I frown. Still not brainwashed/convinced anime is a great thing yet, huh? "To answer your question, twelve."  
  
"…How dandy."  
  
"Yup!" I chirp.  
  
  
And here are our lovely comments.  
  
  
My friend squints their eyes in confusion. "Hey…"  
  
"Yes?" I murmured distractedly.  
  
"Is that guy on crack? His face is all changing and he's acting all weird…"  
  
*WHAP*  
  
"OW!" They winced, rubbing at their head. "What was that for?"  
  
I was teary eyed at what they had said. "How dare you insult Ryu-chan!"  
  
"Well… er… I like the hat?"  
  
I give them a simple 'hmmph', only slightly satisfied. "You better!"  
  
….  
  
….  
  
"…Holy shit, more kissing?"  
  
"You better believe it! …Hey, I can see the edge of the bed! Nice sheets, huh?" I grin, moving to admire Glaring Dream.  
  
  
  
"I thought his hair was brown… Why's it green now?"  
  
I groan, reminding myself of the hair controversy. "I think it's more of an olive color. Sort of brown, sort of green, yada yada yada…"  
  
My friend looked at my thesaurus to look at to prove me wrong. "Actually, it says the synonyms are: emerald, jade, lime, bottle green, sea green…"  
  
I chuck the hated book I had to read at their face.  
  
  
"Argh, not again! Why are the episodes ending with stuff like kissing?! I was starting to think that Eerie guy was cool!"  
  
"That's Eiri!!!" I shriek.  
  
"You said that in Japan, people say their last names first and the first name second, right?"  
  
"I think so… Unless they do it the American way too… I'm not sure if it's the fan fiction that are doing it the American way, or it's the Japanese way."  
  
"All right… So why does Shu-e-chi…" they pause, trying to pronounce it correctly, "call Eiri by his last name?"  
  
I ponder this. "No clue. This person I know says that it's because it sounds better. What sounds so romantic about calling the one you like by your last name?"  
  
"I dunno. Can I leave now?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Argh."  
  
  
  
"…What an idiot."  
  
"Y'know…" I stop for dramatic effect, "I kind of agree too."  
  
"Did I mention that those guys from ASK have cool clothes?"  
  
"Yes," I state flatly, agreeing in my own special way while squeezing my Kumagorou plush.  
  
"Bah, how cliché… They won."  
  
I nodded, placing my chin atop of Kumagorou's head. "Yeah… Ya know, the mailing list said-"  
  
I was effectively shushed by the pocky that was inserted into my mouth. "Shut up."  
  
"IT'S TATSUHA!!!" I screamed, running over at the television and hugging it for dear life.  
  
If my friend were an anime character, they'd be sweatdropping at the moment. "Creepy…" they mutter, seeing that I was nuzzling the screen (and getting shocks) at the same time as Tatsuha did.  
  
"BITCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I shriek, waving my fists as Ayaka slapped Shuichi across the face.  
  
"CLICHÉ!" my friend shouted, waving their arms around.  
  
"Ah… Tatsuha-chan is so wise…" I remarked, stars in my eyes as I said this.  
  
"Oh really? I think he was planning that his advice would backfire and he'd have someone to lay-"  
  
"NO! TATSUHA-CHAN IS NOBLE! NOBLENOBLENOBLENOBLENOBLENOBLENOBLENOBLENOBLENOBLE… I think."  
  
"DUMPDUMPDUMPDUMPDUMPDUMP! DUM DUM DUH DE DUM DUH DE DUM!" the non-anime loving friend cheered.  
  
A few minutes later…  
  
"HEY, RAPE IS WRONG! CALL THE AUTHORITIES!!!"  
  
All I had to do during this episode was stare at my friend. I think I made them crazy.  
  
"Dude, that Tachi guy is SMARTTTTTTTT…" the non-anime loving friend said, impressed with the guy's knowledge.  
  
"AIEEEEEEEE! IT'S TATSUHA!!!!" Yes, that's me.  
  
"…WHAT THE HECK? HE LOOKS SCARY WITH LIPSTICK!"  
  
Sadly, I had to nod in agreement.  
  
And then the non-anime loving friend screamed: "AHHHHHHHHH! TOO MUCH CLICHÉ!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Ooo! They are drinking… Tsk tsk tsk," my friend smirked, shaking their head.  
  
I squealed as Kumagorou was talked about and thrown about by Ryuichi. "YAY! KUMAAAAAAAAA!"  
  
As the moment came… "IT'S THE CARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!"  
  
"…Eck, poor guy…"  
  
I think I scarred my friend for life when I attempted to sing Sleepless Beauty.  
  
"HE'S BUNNY MAN!!!" my friend squeaked.  
  
"Did you know that I saw someone wearing those exact colors at the library?!" I shouted into their ear.  
  
"Isn't that a CUTE DATE?" I cooed, holding Kuma tighter against myself.  
  
"IT'S THE BLAMEEEEEEEE GAMEEEEEEEEE!" my friend danced around, singing as Touma was talking to Shuichi.  
  
"Me likes luggage," the non-anime loving friend said to me, placing their fist against their chest.  
  
"RYUICHI IS SO COOL WHEN HE LOOKS EVIL!" I said, flapping my arms like a chicken as I continued to repeat the exclamation.  
  
And so on…  
  
  
"…Took him such a long time to finish those lyrics…" My friend yawned, standing up and stretching.  
  
"So what do you think about Gravi now?"  
  
My friend blinked. "What's gravy got to do with anime?"  
  
"Gravi."  
  
"Gravy?"  
  
"GRAVI."  
  
"GRAVY?"  
  
"GRAVItation!"  
  
"…Oh."  
  
I frown. "Well? What do you think?"  
  
"Well, Kuma looks like road kill."  
  
"WELL, YOUR SHEEP AIN'T AUSTRAILIAN!"  
  
This brought silence.  
  
"…It wasn't bad," the non-anime loving friend admitted. "But I don't see why you're so obsessed."  
  
"Hey!" I protest. "You were screaming along with me!"  
  
"…Well…"  
  
"Admit you like it."  
  
"Yes, I like gravy."  
  
"What about RYU-CHAN?"  
  
"I didn't like his frilly shirt. He dresses girly."  
  
...  
  
Okay, I give up. This person is hopeless.  
  
"Let's have some mashed potatoes and gravy."  
  
"Wait I have a question."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Is Kuma alive? It looks alive. And it talks too."  
  
I blink and grab my own Kumagorou and place it over my face. I speak in a falsetto. "I'M KUMAGOROU, NA NO DA!!"  
  
My friend dropped to the floor.  
  
  
…What just happened here?  
  
I turn off my computer to grab something to eat. Oh geez. It sucks to be me, doesn't it?  
  
-OWARI-  
  
…That was stupid. O.o;;  
  
  
  



End file.
